When we’re not sleeping, eating, working hard on our social media accounts at the workplace, gossiping, jerking off, or just plain old playing the fool, we have several unanswered questions about the world around us that we ponder over. These questions may have puzzled us for a lifetime, impacted us on a deep level that may have been bothersome, or maybe rhetorical questions that we may seem to know the answer to, but don’t.
I, for one constantly have questions going around in my mind like a nonstop merry-go-round. And once a question is answered, it is replaced by at least two new ones if not more. That’s getting to be a pretty crowded merry-go-round. Since I cannot spend the rest of my life writing this article, neither can you spend yours cursing it, let’s explore only a few of these mysteries.
- Why do we chase people that barely know about our existence or do not care to? We have enough genuine people in our lives that love us and have professed it openly. Yet, we pine for the attention of the uninterested and potentially unworthy. Are relationships purely based on our egos and to honor our ancestors we feel we must conquer one and all? We neglect the believers and spend our efforts on converting the non-believers until of course, they become believers. Then we move on to the next lot. On our death beds, we may realize that our original circle was the only one that truly existed.
- How is social acceptance equivalent to a like or comment on our social media posts? A friend or family member may give us profound insights that aid significantly in our development and overall happiness. But no. A mother’s advice or a friend’s concern is no match for a positive comment we may get from Mr. Cool (who we may have last met in our previous lifetime) on our Instagram picture, despite looking like a bashed up bucket in it.
- Where is time going? How come my last decade has gone by a lot quicker than the previous ones? Is there some global conspiracy I am unaware of? Has Tesla come up with a method to make the earth rotate and revolve faster? Is this why my watch is always showing the wrong time because it’s on a 24-hour/day pattern, whereas now we have just 18 in a day? Or am I taking too long to look up from my handheld devices to realize that people have grown older, opportunities have gone by, and Pierce Brosnan is no longer James Bond (Thank God)?
- Where are the aliens hiding? Oh come on, I sense they’ve been around for a while but no one seems to want to admit it. I mean if we do believe in a higher power, am I supposed to believe that we, the humans (and our wild and tame pets of course) are the chosen ones to represent and preserve the entire universe? We can’t even take care of our personal hygiene for crying out loud. I suppose while we wait with our hands on our hips, tapping our toes, we have each other for comfort. When is the last time we got or gave eye contact, smile, or had a conversation with someone? I won’t be disappointed if there are indeed no aliens. We have each other.
- Alice? Who the f**k is Alice?
- How long do we plan to pretend to not see and not know? I mean the world around us is burning and our fellow men are struggling. We may not be doing so well ourselves if we gauge ourselves on the parameters that matter. How long do we plan to deceive ourselves?
- What exactly is the opposite term of goody-two-shoes? I mean is it baddy two-shoes? Or does the bad person have just one shoe or no shoes at all? How about beach sandals?
- How do procrastination and cigarette smoking sell? Both are going to be the end of us, and yet we knowingly do both proudly and copiously. Are we saying that we are not scared of death if we plan it ourselves on a daily basis?
- Did that top at the end of ‘Inception’ topple over? Now I’ve gotten into spinning tops just to make sure that the stuff that is happening is real like promotions, vacationing in Europe, weight loss (despite the binging), and even when I see an alien walk by (Oops I wasn’t supposed to reveal that. The world isn’t ready yet).
- What does a cat have in mind as it stares at us without blinking? As I stare back I’m thinking ‘furry purry’. Is the cat thinking ‘hairy scary’?
- What makes us truly laugh? No, not funny movies, or jokes, or comical stories. Sure they make us laugh, but not ‘truly’ laugh. What makes us laugh in a manner that the laughter does not die with the moment, but resonates for a lifetime?
- What does one have to do to be understood? Sure, we are not here to please everyone and everyone is going to have some complaint about us. We tell ourselves (and coaches around the world tell us too) that we should continue being ourselves, that we don’t need validation, and we have to ignore the naysayers. But it’s not always as simple as that is it? Sometimes these people are close to us and genuinely care for us. I mean we can’t disassociate with everyone that fails to understand us. We may be left with no one. So what’s the strategy here? Inception?
- How’s it going? Are you with it? How you handling it? And so on. I have been guilty of asking similar questions too. I suppose we are all referring to the challenges of life and the word ‘it’ really undermines the gravity of that beast. I mean ‘it’ technically refers to a minuscule item you would find on your kitchen counter or work desk. Life just happens to weigh about 23 trillion times more than these objects. Show some respect.
- Following from the previous query, what is with people using slangs and acronyms in spoken communication? I mean it takes as long to say ‘oh my god’ as it does to say ‘omg’. I’ve heard people say ‘lol’. We can’t even laugh anymore? ‘My bad’? No it is not. It’s Michael Jackson’s ‘Bad’ which happened to sell over 30 million copies.
- What’s with everyone’s ‘me first’ approach? I mean if we all honor ability, deservingness, hard work, consistency and humanity overall, we’ll all get there in due time. If we all try to get there first it is going to result in a global brawl and we may never even get there, let alone get there first. Where is the logic here?
- What were the choreographers of the 1980s Bollywood flicks smoking?
- Is our life panning out based on fate or our will? If everything is written, do we even have free will? Are we choosing what is written or is the script developing as we choose?
- Did the Baha Men ever find out who let the dogs out?
- Happiness in a bottle? Isn’t Coca Cola and any other soda just two bottles of sugar in a bottle? (Note: This doesn’t stop me from consuming a few bottles every now and again).
- How is Poker a sport? By that standard even snapping one’s fingers or hailing a cab should be a sport? Now ‘poke her’ on the other hand…
- Do people refuel their vehicles when they want chips and soda or do they buy chips and soda when they stop to refuel their vehicles? Also, when people order a diet coke with their double cheeseburger and large fries, is that just guilt doing its job or is there a formula I’m not privy to?
- Are we being watched every second of our lives? Is Google reading what I’m writing this very minute and saying ‘what an idiot’?
- Who’s watching commercials on television? Everyone I meet seems to hate commercials and claims to flip channels when they come on. And yet the time allotted to commercials during any television program seems to be increasing by the minute. I’m sure advertisers have done their research and are not spending money for charitable purposes. Someone’s watching these commercials secretly. If it’s not me, or you, or her, or them, then who? I think we all need to have a serious word with our dogs, cats, parrots, and goldfish. Someone brave enough better speak to King Kong, Godzilla, and Drogon as well.
- Why has no one made 1/6 scale action figures from the Brendan Fraser starring ‘The Mummy’?
- Where can I buy a thinking cap?
- I see #Nofilter posts all the time on Instagram. Is there one for our character?
- In a movie theatre which cup holder is mine? If all seats in a row are full and we all have drinks and the person on the outer end decides to use his inside cup holder, are we supposed to communicate down the row using Chinese whispers? Also, how does one stake claim over the armrests?
- How come most of us use our talent for unlawful, immoral or unethical practices? Do we want to piss people off? I remember never feeling as happy growing up when people called me a ‘bad boy’ compared to how happy I felt when people said ‘good boy’.
I think we are getting to a point where life is calling us back and the reading and pondering needs to stop for now. However, I’d love to hear what preposterous obscurities bother you.
Aasman hai neela kyon? Paani geela geela kyon? Gol kyon hai zameen?…